Rumors, shame, and traffic lights

Today was a pretty good day in terms of instruction. I worked in a small group with some students in one of my math inclusion classes, and the students seemed to appreciate the extra review. One student even volunteered to come before school for some extra tutoring tomorrow morning. I love feeling like I am actually being clear in my instruction and helping students to have those “aha” moments.

On another note, kids are a trip. This one student said this to me at the end of my first period math class: “Mr. Seegars, I saw you at the football game this weekend with that cheerleading coach. Are y’all going together?” Shocked that the student asked this so bluntly, I then said no, added that I would not discuss my personal life anyway, and said that we were there with other teachers too. She responded, “Mhm, don’t lie to me—I know y’all are dating.” I laughed and said, “We were all there as a group, but I am still not discussing my personal life with you.” I laughed about it with some other teachers later—apparently, students try to make up relationships between faculty members all the time. I guess I should not have been surprised since I was asked last week whether or not I have kids.

The rest of the day went relatively smoothly. I stayed a little late in my physics class in order to help some students with work. I had to catch myself when I started to lose patience since I was hungry (my lunch period had begun). I was about to just go to lunch, but I saw the student was really trying. I was very happy that I kept my patience because the student was eventually able to understand the material.

My last period class also went well. There was just one problem. This one girl basically said she could not stand me and really would not let me work with her. It was frustrating because I wanted to help her, but I could not figure out a way to dispel her attitude. Unfortunately, and I am ashamed to admit this, I actually just gave up on her after she kept verbalizing her hostility. I just felt like I did not have time to sit there and worry about her when there were other students literally calling me to their desks to help them with work. Yet, as a Special Education teacher, she was one of the students I was in there specifically to serve.

Well, after about 10 minutes, I realized that I could not give up on her. So I went back over to her area of the room in order to check on her. Generally, when I check on my students, I look at everybody around them so that they do not feel singled out. Also, the other students in the classroom do not really need to know who is special education.

So, as I passed by the desks where she was and eventually got to her desk, she covered up her work and made a face. I told her (as we had discussed before) that this was unacceptable. But, in my head, I was at a loss for what to do. I still am. I am going to call her parents and hopefully figure out some way to get her to open up to me. I know that I cannot simply make an excuse by saying she does not want my help.

This experience taught me a couple of things. First, it shows me how human I am. During my TFA interviews and throughout my training, I always talked about how much I would just “relentlessly pursue results” no matter what; however, I found myself giving up on a student. Yes, it was a mistake. But I can see how easy it was for me to make that mistake just because I was frustrated.

Secondly, it reminded me of how important it is for us to “relentlessly pursue” those results. Even when I think a student does not want the help, I have to find a way to supply that service to that student. I cannot control what happens outside of the classroom or whether or not she hates my guts, but what I do have control over is whether or not I know that I am trying my best to provide her with an opportunity for learning. I can do better.

On a different note, the highlight of my day was when I barely made it through a traffic light on my way home after I got off the freeway. You have to love the little things. ☺