Monday -- the new Friday?

I did not want to go to work today. After I signed in, I asked a coworker, “Is it Friday yet?” His reply: “No.” I almost cried.

My mood this morning stemmed partly from my poor work ethic this weekend and partly from thoughts about where I am as a teacher right now. For one, I am still trying to regain my college work ethic. It still is just not there. During the week, I work hard; however, I am so exhausted by the time I get to the weekends, that I can barely do any work before Sunday evening. I tried to get ahead this weekend, but I still ended up staying up late Sunday night getting stuff done.

I wanted to get ahead this weekend because I do not think I am working nearly as efficiently as I should be right now. Since I just got two new inclusion courses, I am trying to wrap my head around those. At the same time, I still do not quite like how I am executing my lessons for my study skills class. I have two math levels (actually three now, since one student is Algebra 2), and I kind of try to teach two different courses in the same class. On top of that, I had to kind of create a curriculum for my social skills class. While I think it is good, I still second-guess myself sometimes.

So, I arrived at school tired from being up late and worried about my study skills and social skills classes. My study skills class was not what I wanted it to be. They kept students in homeroom for an extra 25 minutes because students came with the wrong type of backpacks. They all have to wear see-through or clear backpacks. They are really cracking down on it now. But anyway, I had 25 minutes less to work with, and I felt like I just rushed through things. I was a little frustrated, and the kids looked a little confused. It definitely was not my best work.

I then had my first biology class. The students in there seemed pretty good, and I actually understood what was going on…What a change from my days in high school biology!

During my planning period, I lamented to a fellow TFA co-worker that I felt inadequate, and that I felt lost. We had a talk, and he told me about stuff that was going on in his classroom. After a good, frank discussion, I left feeling that I needed to do something different in my last period class.

I went back to my room and changed all the desks around and put them into a circle. This may seem like a small thing, but it actually had a really positive effect on that class today. I ran part of my class period as a debate (whether or not education is a privilege or right), and the students really got into it! We also did some work on writing and reading. We mostly worked on being able to express our thoughts coherently and cohesively (ironic, since I spend lots of time rambling on this blog).

I felt great after the period. My slow trudge this morning transformed into a cheerful stride as I walked to my car after work. I was happy to be there.

I got into my car, jammed T.I. and Rihanna's "Life your Life," and drove home.

"Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes.)"

The title is a quote from Walt Whitman's, "Song of Myself."

When I woke up this morning, I was tired. When I began to eat breakfast, I was content. When I straightened my tie and looked in the mirror, I smiled. As I drove to work, I was relaxed. When I signed into work, I felt nothing. When I got to my classroom, I just wanted to drink my tea. When the bell rang, I got anxious. When the students came in, I got excited. When they left, I was relieved. By the time the day ended, I was relieved, happy, and tired. Right now, I am exhausted.

At this point, my life is an emotional roller coaster. My mood shifts as I attempt to battle the raw emotions that may overcome me with understanding and a process of self reflection that has been instilled in me by my parents, mentors, friends, and just plain old life experience. Yes, I get angry. I get mad. I get confused. I get annoyed. I get ticked off. I get all of that and more. It is almost impossible not to.

If my students and I are going to have a successful year, then I have to keep an optimistic attitude. Does this mean that I cannot get mad, angry, or frustrated? No, it does not. Rather, it means that I need to productively channel those feelings in order to pursue our goals even more relentlessly.

While this may seem incredibly challenging (and it is), it is not completely uphill. For between those moments of anger and after those cries of frustration, there is excitement—there are epiphanies, “Aha!” moments, and the smile of a student in the hallway as you start to build those relationships with them. There is joy.

I say all of this because today was full of happiness and frustration. I had to pull a kid out of my class and talk to her after almost getting into a fight in my classroom. One kid openly defied me when he did not want to give me his cell phone, so I had to send him to the infractions room. A kid even passed gas during class. That started an uproar, of course. One student came late after being in the assistant principal office—he had been wandering the hallway because he did not want to come to my class.

On the other hand, once that student came in, he was very helpful. He even helped other students understand some of the material. Though two students were in detention, I had the opportunity to get to know them better and continue to build a relationship with them. When asking my students about their goals, they all talked about graduating from high school and going onto college. Music to my ears.

This was all great. It is my job to help them get there. I had to stop and take long breaths multiple times today, but I also got a chance to stop and think about what my students deserved in life. I am exhausted right now. I really do not feel like doing any work. Yet, my strength is renewed by my sense of purpose. My fatigue is countered by a sense of urgency. My frustration is met with the realization that I am going to make mistakes, but I just need to make sure I learn from them—in a word, humility. I can do better.

"And these tend inward to me, and I tend outward to them,
And such as it is to be of these more or less I am,
And of these one and all I weave the song of myself."

-Whitman, "Song of Myself"

Biology, Physics, and Parents

Today, I was told that I will be adding two classes to my inclusion schedule: biology and physics.

I had no idea what to say, so I just kind of laughed, took a deep breath, and said, “okay” rather hesitantly. For those of you who do not know, science is definitely not my favorite or best subject. In fact, I have had nightmares about science tests before. Yet, there is something about teaching and knowing that those students can’t take any excuses that gives me some strength. I’ve grown to love math a lot more over the past month, and hopefully it will be the same for science. If not, well then I’ll have to suck it up and make it work.

On another note, I called the parents of the students who I assigned detention yesterday. I began the conversation by introducing myself as their child’s teacher. I decided to start off with something positive about the students so that the parents would not think I was calling just to complain. I then explained my tardy policy to the parents, and said that I needed to hold the student after school one day for thirty minutes. The conversations went well, and I let them know that they could call me on my cell phone. It is my hope that this will be the start of some great partnerships between me and the families of my students. I need the trust, support, and counseling of the parents—I sure as hell won’t be able to achieve my fullest potential in the classroom without them.

At 4:45pm, I got into my car and SCREAMED out of frustration...

It was that kind of day. It did not start that way, though. My day can be broken into two parts:

1.) Good, funny, and awkward
2.) Bad, not funny, awkward

Let’s talk about the good part of the day first.

My first period class was going well. I had students working in different groups. Suddenly, an announcement came on from the principal. He was telling teachers to remember to make sure students adhered to the dress code. Apparently, the “guys are doing better than the girls.” Then he came back on, seconds later, and said that teachers should be on the look out for two girls wearing plaid shirts and some “tights or something.” He continued, “Some of the costumes people are wearing to school are completely inappropriate.” He told teachers to look out for those two girls because they had been sent to the infractions room for not following the dress code, but they had left; therefore, they obviously “could not follow directions.” I don’t know why, but this announcement was absolutely hilarious to me.

Next, a student who had not been to my class at all this year finally came in. After a conversation with him about why he should be in school, I finally got him to do some work. I felt really good about our conversation, and I was happy to see him working with the other students. Then, I heard an announcement over the loud speaker saying that I was supposed to be chaperoning a field trip. What?! Pause.

This is a reminder that you should ALWAYS read every email from your boss/administration carefully.

Okay, back to the story. Luckily, I share a room with another teacher, and she was in there doing work. I explained the homework to the students, and rushed out. The field trip was actually really good. It was an exhibit showcasing how African Americans have made a huge impact on American society and culture throughout our history. Imagine that: something about Black folk outside of February! I see you Atlanta!!

Okay, I’m not going to speak about the bad part of the day that much because I have ranted enough about it; however, I’ll give brief highlights:
• I had to go pull two students into my class who didn’t want to be there—like I literally went into the hall, chased them down, and told them to get into my classroom.
• I gave three students “mandatory tutorial” (detention) for coming to class with unexcused tardies (this includes the two students I had to go get); however, these students thought it was just a suggestion and I had to make it clear to them that it was not.
• These three students continued to disturb my class despite the fact that I went up my consequences list, and eventually had to tell one student to step outside.
• That student then ran away down the hall—only to be brought back by a hall monitor 10 minutes later.
• Another student got up and left 5 minutes before the period was over because he did not want to get his detention.
• The third student that had detention crumpled up the paper, and ran as he left the room.
• The student that was returned to my class threw his detention on the floor and ran away as well.
• The phone numbers that I have for them are wrong, so I was unable to call parents tonight. I have to get the correct numbers tomorrow so that I can call their parents as I told them I would.

All of this happened while I was being observed by my district instructional coach. We had a good debriefing afterward, though. Positive: she said the lesson plan was good, and that I was consistent and calm with my consequences.

Still, I definitely need to figure out something different to do in that classroom. Although most of the students behave well (or at least improve their behavior after consequences), I am having some problems with those three students. It would be easy to just blame it on their attitudes; however, while that might be part of it, it is still on me to figure out a way to work with them and help them reach their full potential. I have seen each of them do something right, and I’m sure there is still a lot where that came from—I just have to do a better job of reaching for it.

Coffee, Lemon Chicken, and students who run into doors

The beginning of week three.

It took all of my energy to get out of bed this morning. I had to stop at a McDonalds for an egg McMuffin and coffee. I guess I just had a case of the Mondays (yay “Office Space”!). Anyway, by the time I had my coffee and ate my breakfast, I began to look forward to the day. I guess that’s how the “real world” works.

School went well today. Nothing too major. I bragged to my coworkers that I made lemon chicken this weekend. They were proud of me! They said that I am going to turn into a chef. Well, I guess I am getting there bit by bit. Though I made the chicken, I used boxed mashed potatoes and frozen vegetables. This is a long way from my hamburger helper dinners that I started out with. I am already tired of eating sandwiches and Doritos for lunch. I think I will buy some hot wings this week…

Today was my day in my inclusion classes. My first period class went well, and, per usual, my last period class had some interesting moments. Where should I begin?

Let’s see, like many of the other problems that take place inside (or rather, outside) of the classroom, today’s problems stemmed from the fact that there is no door to the classroom. A few students in the classroom next door had gotten put out of class, and they were making loud noises in the hall. Between working with students, I had to tell them to quiet down. As if that was not annoying enough, they decided to do something else even more ridiculous.

I was working on graphing transformations of quadratic equations with some students when I noticed two boys (who are not in my class) come INSIDE of the classroom with their fists up having a play fight. Pause.

I would like to take a moment to thank TFA for training me to take a deep breath during moments like this. I was so shocked that I almost said something that I might have regretted.
Okay, back to the story. I jumped up and opened my mouth; however, I then paused and took a deep breath—weirdly, I think my mouth stayed open that entire time. I just walked toward them with my eyes and mouth both wide open, and finally said get out of my classroom. I then just stood outside and stared at them before telling them that I better not ever see them do that again.

Then, I heard a loud BOOM! I saw a boy run from around the corner. My first instinct was to run toward the noise to figure out what was going on. I noticed that the boy who was running turned around and went in the same direction as me—he was also laughing. When I turned the corner, I saw a boy lying on the ground in front of a door. The loud noise I heard was from him running into a door. I was flabbergasted. As soon as I found out he was alright, I asked him, “Where are you supposed to be?” He just laughed and said “in class.” I simply told him to “get there.”

On the other hand, both classes went well. I talked to the student today who cursed at me last week. I told him that I did not keep grudges and that I was there to make sure he succeeded. I was happy to see that he was doing work today. I think tomorrow will be a good day of instruction also.

Steve Urkel and getting cursed at

So, I was going to wait until tomorrow to blog again, but I had to write an entry today. The day started off well, especially considering my end to yesterday. In the first class I taught, I was trying to explain to kids the properties of functions by imitating Steve Urkel (the input) going into the cloning machine (the equation) and coming out as Stephan (the output)! When I jumped out of the “machine,” I even tried to make my voice deeper. They started to understand it a little more, and I was happy to finally feel a sense of comfort as I tried to come up with creative ways to teach students.

Then, the final period of the day happened. I am not going to really go into the story in too much detail. Basically, I saw that a student had not been during his work throughout class, so I asked him to come talk to me outside. I just wanted to see what was going on. He decided that he did not want to walk outside. After a few more requests and involving a hall monitor, the student eventually got upset to the point in which he said in reference to me: “I’m gonna beat his a**”.

My co-teacher immediately told him to get out, and when he got up I noticed that he was a good deal taller than me. I told him that he definitely would not be talking to me like that (probably the first time this year I’ve really raised my voice, since I usually find lowering it more effective). I had to tell the students to sit back down as they tried to see what was going on while he left the room. This was probably since he was still verbalizing how angry he was with me as well as pacing back and forward. The security guard eventually came, and it was handled.

What a way to end the day.

Crazy two days...wow

Wow. Yesterday was interesting, but I told myself that I would only write every other day because I was tired. If I would have known what type of day I was going to have today, then I would have saved one entire entry just dedicated to today. I am going to briefly go over some of the highlights from yesterday, and then I am going to talk about the craziness that made today the hardest and most challenging of my days as a teacher so far.

Yesterday was pretty straightforward: I had my inclusion classes, so I co-taught Math 1 and Math 2. The interesting moment came when a student implied that I was not Black. Wow. I mean, you hear that it happens, and the possibility that it might happen definitely came up in training; however, it did not really register that it would happen until it happened. Before I addressed the student, my co-teacher checked her and told her that she better not ever be disrespectful like that again and made her apologize. I made sure to show the students that the comment did not affect emotionally; rather than taking it personally, I viewed it as disrespectful interaction that was unacceptable. At the end of class, I smiled and said, “Power to the people, Sista!” as she left the classroom. She smiled.

Later on in the period, a student walked into the classroom (this is the one without an actual door) and just sat down. I approached and asked him where he was supposed to be, and then told him to leave the classroom. As my co-teacher also started walking over, he said, “that man got a big dot on his head” and then ran away. I started to run after him, and then thought that I should stay in the classroom and continue with the student with whom I was working. After two more seconds, though, I decided that I was tired of kids saying stuff and running away; therefore, I stepped into the hallway and asked the hall monitor to get his name. Unfortunately, he had already made it down the hallway. I returned to the student I was working with before the distraction. Seeing her get the problems correct made me happy again, and I gave her a high five in order to celebrate her success.

Those were some of the main highlights from yesterday. Now, let me talk about today.

There were just too many things going on, so I’m going to try to move more quickly through them that so that this post does not go on forever. Like I said, this was the first day that I felt that I had a “bad” day, but hey, it happens.

I started off with my first period study skills class. I had to pull two kids out to talk to them about attitudes. I actually had to put one of the kids out of my class. I felt really bad about this because I really hate putting students out of class. It takes them away from instruction, and they just get further and further behind. Yet, in terms of the situation, it was the next step on my list of consequences and I had to address the behavior. I do need to find a better way to invest the students in the class. Some of the students are really invested, whereas other students feel that they do not need the extra help in math.

Now, let’s fast forward to the end of the day: my social skills class. I was actually really excited about this class. When they came in, I had jazz playing (yay Pandora!), and I was welcoming the students. Besides the standards, warm up, and instructional agenda posted on the board, I also had the words, “Hi. My name is Mr. Seegars, and I am excited to be here!” This was a play off of an exercise that we did the first day in which each student stood up, said his or her name, and said that they were happy to be there. We then each clapped and said “Hi [insert name]”. Corny? Yes. Did it get them energize? Yes, too. ☺

So, today they were coming in with that on the board, the jazz music, and me welcoming them with a smile. The class got off to a great start. I told them that I would be giving them individual reading diagnostics in order to see where they were. I then remarked that I had to know where they were currently in order for me to tailor things toward their instructional levels so that we could make some big reading and writing gains for the year. They were receptive to this, and so it seemed like it would be a good class period. I started off their exercise with the Declaration of Independence (they worked on that while they were not being tested), and then began calling students up individually to start the reading diagnostic. Things were going smoothly…at first.

After about 25 minutes, there was a knock on the door. It was a student, escorted by two teachers, who was late to my classroom. They were telling him that he needed to be there, but he did not want to be there. I welcomed him, and told him to please come in. He did not want to. He came back a little later (escorted again), and then a teacher came and helped him get him situated. Long story short, the next thing I know, a student was getting into it with him, I had to hold her back from getting into a physical altercation with him. In the meantime, another new student (also late), was instigating; therefore, I had to call him outside while I talked to the other girl. As I calmed her down and tried to figure out what was going on, I had to call another student outside. Then I had to go in the classroom and manage a shouting match between new and old students. It was as if everything we had discussed in terms of classroom culture was not sticking. By the end of the period, two of the students got up and left out of the classroom, and all I could do was just say, “truancy.”

At the end of the period, I had another conversation about classroom culture with the students. I explained that some people may have offended some students in some way but that they had to trust me to deal with—they could not take things into their own hands. It is my duty, I explained, to make the classroom not only a productive learning environment, but also a safe environment. Needless to say, I did not finish any of the diagnostics. I ended the classroom feeling worn out and terrible. I felt like it was just out of control.

No day is perfect, and I will definitely learn from my mistakes of today. Although I thought I had great classroom culture, it was more fragile than I expected. I think for this class, just like the study skills class, I need rethink some of my investment strategies and come up with more ways to positively reinforce the students.

Until next time, peace.

Brand New Week, Brand New Course

Today was the start of a new week. It was definitely an “experience-filled” day. I started off the day excited about a new course that I’m teaching called “Social Skills.” It has an interesting curriculum that helps students mold their abilities to productively and effectively interact in social situations. Since that was the later period of the day, I will get back to it later.

I also teach a math study skills class in the morning. Last week, only two students were listed in the class, and only one student reported. Since it couldn’t fit with many students’ schedules, I was told that it was probably going to be cancelled. Therefore, I was planning to have an inclusion class during that period, so I did not plan for my study skills class. Mistake. If something is EVER “probably,” then you need to prepare for it. But it wasn’t too big of a deal. I had given the one student who had come the previous class period a diagnostic test on that day; therefore, I worked with him on some math skills based on what he did on his test. Meanwhile, the other students took the diagnostic test and filled out student questionnaires. Crisis averted.

During my planning period, I went around trying to make copies for my last period class. The two copier machines downstairs were not working; consequently, I had to try to use the copy machine in the library. The only problem was that my id number doesn’t work on that copy machine yet. I felt bad using somebody else’s number, so I just asked them to copy the EXACT number of people that I saw on my roll. Again, mistake, but we’ll get to that later.

So, I stood outside of my classroom ready for my social skills class. As the kids trickled in, I realized that some of them weren’t on my roll. No big deal, right? This is when I remembered that you always should print extra copies of worksheets.

Anyway, so the class went well. There were a few (…interesting?...) moments, though. After I went over the syllabus with the students, I told them that we were going to have an exercise in social skills as we would come up with the rules together. The first rule the students came up with was that they would need to raise their hands to speak. Great, I agree. The second rule that a student stated was, “no rules.” For the life of me, I am not sure why I was not expecting that. But anyway, I rolled with it. They told me that they were old and mature enough to know what to do and what not to do. I explained to them that they thought they were old enough to know what rules to follow and which rules not to break, and I would be happy to hear more examples of them. With that, I erased “no rules” from the list and continued with the exercise.

In terms of today’s class, it was a good learning experience. I definitely need to have more differentiation on Wednesday. I had to talk to a few students out in the hall, and I had to tell one student to stop hitting on an adult who was observing the classroom. But, all in all, I thought it was a good first day, and it is going to be a good, although definitely challenging at times, semester.

Until next time, peace.

Switching bags and other reflections on the end of the first week

I made it through my first week! Yesterday, I got a call from Matt (my roommate for going on 4 years now who is also doing TFA) as I was driving to school. He called to tell me that he realized we had each other’s bags. Wait, let’s pause for a second.

One of the perks for working for Atlanta Public Schools (APS) is that they give us a laptop as well as these black rolling bags. So each day, I take my black rolling bag and my laptop to school. Matt does the same thing, and our bags – just like all the other bags – look exactly the same.

Okay, back to the story. So, Matt calls me and says that he thinks we switched bags. I have a 20-25 minute drive to work, whereas Matt lives about 2 minutes from his school. He asked if we could meet up somewhere, but I told him that there was no way that I could turn around since I was like 2 minutes from my school, couldn’t go back because of potential traffic, and I didn’t want to be late. He said he’d call me back to see if we had switched computers as well. As I was pulling into the school parking lot, he texted me and said that we had also switched computers. I told him that I didn’t need my laptop for the day, and I actually had my materials for my lessons on a clipboard in this other APS hand bag that I take to work each day (I also pack my lunch in it). He said that he thought he would be fine, too. He ended up sending me a text later in the day saying that he had to wing a lesson but he come up with a great way to teach 3rd graders how to identify a complete sentence. On the other hand, I spent some awkward time in the library looking up stuff on a computer next to some students—as if I didn’t look enough like them already. All in all, I thought it was funny that we switched bags, and nothing terrible happened. I think we are going to label our bags though.

In other news, Friday was a Friday. I went into a classroom during my planning period to briefly cover for a teacher. As soon as I walked in, all these boys started laughing and saying “Marcus!” I laughed a little and then smiled and said that I had met “Marcus,” but that they could address me as Mr. Seegars. They were good kids, and it was still the middle of the day, so all was good.

By the time I got to my last class, I was in no mood to play games. I had to pick up a few cellphones even though I warned the students to put them away. I had to take two kids to the back of the room to talk to them. So, yes, it was a Friday. But, hey, it was the end of the first week, and it was a good week.

When I was a student, I had no idea that teachers wanted to jet after school for the weekend just like we did. As I left the school yesterday, my pace continuously quickened to the point that I was basically jogging in the parking lot in order to get to my car as fast as I could. Don’t get me wrong: I enjoy my job, and I’m looking forward to Monday; however, at that time, I was ready to get out of there. But, like I said: so far, so good. The hardest thing for me right now is probably relearning a lot of the math. It’s not as hard as I remember it being, though, and I am still enjoying math a lot more than I ever thought I would.

Until next time, peace.

I met "Marcus" today!

Our skin tones are pretty similar, but we also have one more thing in common: we each have a birthmark on our faces! So I guess it was true when the kids were saying that I looked like one of the students in the school. I'm getting more comfortable with teaching, and I like that in my classes I have a smaller teacher to student ratio. I feel like I'm going to get a chance to really get to know them, which I think will be crucial in me helping them to achieve some great academic gains this year. I usually feel exhausted after a day at school, so I'm just going to go to sleep now. Tomorrow is Friday!

I guess I actually do look like at least one of the kids...

Today was my first day of really being in the classroom for most of the day. I co-taught three classes (an hour and a half each). We have four periods each day, but we get one period as time for planning. It was an interesting day of being in the classroom. Although I got some practice during institute (TFA training in which we teach summer school), I had not actually taught high school students before. Still, we mostly did diagnostic testing type stuff, so I mostly just gave directions and walked around and watched students do work during the first period. During the third period (second period was my planning period), I actually did some instruction as I went over the answers with the students. I also went over some work one-on-one with a student. Working with that student one-on-one felt like some of the work that I did during institute when we got to work with the kids in smaller groups during a one hour morning block called “math/literacy hour.”

After I worked with the student, I watched my co-teacher explain the answers and check for understanding for the first 10 problems. Then it was my turn.

Let me step back for a second: so, they have these things in some of the classrooms called “promethean boards.” They’re actually really cool. Basically, you can hook up the board to your computer, and then you can use this thing that looks like a marker to actually write on the board. You can change colors, put stuff in the “trash”, maximize and minimize parts, and many other cool things. My co-teacher was using it, and so I watched and figured that I’d learn pretty easily on the spot. Well, anybody who knows me knows how I fumble with technology sometimes…

So, let’s resume the story. It was my turn to go explain the problems. My co-teacher told me what to do in terms of the board. Everything was working well at first until I kept forgetting that it wasn’t a dry-erase board. I kept trying to “wipe” things away as if it were a dry-erase marker. This, of course, led the students to laugh, but that wasn’t a big deal—especially since I was kind of laughing at myself (inside). The problem came when my handwriting kept getting worse and worse since I wasn’t lifting the “marker” up properly. Needless to say, I’m already handwriting-challenged, so I definitely didn’t need to add to their burden of attempting to read my handwriting. All in all, it went well, and I got some helpful advice about my presentation in general from my co-teacher. Again, I have to say that I’m really happy with how supportive and helpful other teachers are at my school.

Something else crazy happened in the last period of the day. But to understand this, we must rewind a little.

So, yesterday, this girl asked me, “You know somebody named Marcus [fake name for the purpose of the blog]?” She said it in a casual way that suggested she didn’t know I was a teacher. “No,” I answered. She then looked down and saw my employee badge, and then said “well, you could be his brother.” As she walked away, I thought nothing of it.

Fast forward to today. There happened to be a lot of people making noise in the hallway outside of my classroom. Furthermore, since the classrooms don’t actually have doors in that part of the building, it’s even more disruptive. So, at one point, I had to kind of poke my head outside and ask the people to quiet down. One boy looked at me and yelled, “Look, it’s Marcus’ Uncle!” and ran away before I could do anything.

Besides being a little annoyed that the boy got away and at the fact that I’m still new and don’t know a lot of the students, I did think it was a little funny that something is going around the school that I look like somebody who I haven’t even met. I guess I’ll have to meet this “Marcus” and see how much we actually look alike…I wonder if he has a birthmark on his forehead?

Anyway, everything is still going well, and I’m looking forward to another day tomorrow!

First day of school!

So…

Today was the first day of school! I woke at about 5:15am in order to go to the gym (trying to get healthy!), ate honey nut cheerios, made a sandwich and put Doritos in a Ziploc bag, made some chai black spice tea, took my bags downstairs, and then began to blast NPR in my car—don’t worry, I jammed Outkast on the way back from work.

When I got to school, I signed the sign-in sheet and greeted my fellow teachers. I can’t lie: it was kind of weird. I was walking in as a member of the faculty. In terms of age, I looked more like the students than the teachers. In fact, I made sure to wear my employee badge all day so that students would know that I was teacher. Walking briskly through the hallways, I noticed some students looking at me quizzically when they realized that I was a teacher on a mission rather than an uber-intense new student desperately trying to find his next class (not fully knowing my way around the school, I gave some freshmen “directions” by walking them around in circles…). That employee badge and the serious “head nods” and good mornings I gave to fellow teachers helped me solidify my image as a faculty member. To be sure, I made my voice sound even deeper when I was in the classroom. I’m not sure if I look really young or if some of the students look really old, but it was definitely a little awkward.

Luckily, that was pretty much the only downfall of the day. Even so, I felt very comfortable when talking to students in the classroom, and I made my expectations clear. The faculty and staff at my school are very helpful and encouraging. I feel very fortunate to have such supportive people around me as I make this transition.

When I was not in the classroom, I spent most of my time at my desk working on math problems and preparing for future lessons. In high school, I had a teacher tell me, “you’re not bad at math, Lumumba. You just lack patience.” I think about those words a lot these days. When I was working on math problems today, I was much more patient that I had ever been. I was never motivated to really put my all into learning math until I found out that I would be teaching it. Surprisingly, I have actually begun to enjoy math, and I am looking forward to really getting into the material with the students. It truly will be a learning experience for all of us.

There is one more thing that I discovered to my dismay today: I did not bring enough food. Along with my chips and sandwich, I ate a few brownies; however, I was definitely hungry throughout the day. I will have to get some cliff bars, string cheese, teddy grams, or something else to snack on during my planning periods. I ate a hot dog, chicken nuggets, and a delicious salad (including onions, tomatoes, bell peppers, cheese, turkey ham, and carrots) for dinner once I got home. Mm mmm good!

So, today was a great day to begin the year. I am still alive, and I am ready to go back for more. Hopefully, I will start to be able to grow more facial hair soon. If not, I’ll just continue to try to make my voice deeper. Oh yeah, smiling makes you look younger ☺

Introduction -- the night before the first day of school

Tomorrow is the day.

I titled this blog, “I sing,” because music has been such an important part of my life. As I prepare to teach high school, I fondly remember my time at Houston’s High School for the Performing and Visual Arts as incredibly exciting, challenging, and dynamic years. Music, and specifically singing, was my central activity. Even throughout college, I was always singing in at least one choir. Music has always been my default place of happiness—it is where I have gone to find beauty, hope, and encouragement in life when I have become to fatigued, overwhelmed, or disillusioned. Singing still comforts me in a way that nothing else can; therefore, I am hoping that the process of writing this blog will provide me with a way to express my thoughts and feelings in a way that mirrors—or at least closely resembles—the pleasure I gain from singing.

I have been thinking about writing a blog for a while, but I have waited until now – the day before the first day of school – to actually begin writing it. Indeed, this day has been on my mind for quite some time. Many times, even before I applied to Teach For America, I heard people telling stories about their classrooms and why they decided to go into these classrooms and communities in order to “teach for America.” It is true that I found many of these stories inspiring; yet, the excitement that I felt when hearing other people’s stories does not quite compare to the feelings of unrest that have captured my mind and body alike at this time.

I could go on about how I “feel” at this very moment, but I won’t. Much of the manner in which I have sought to experience the beauty of life has been by attempting to take snapshots of various moments that felt so great or so precious that I desired to simply stay in that position or situation for fear that I would never have that moment again. Dunster formal, senior week, pregaming with my blocking group, one last night singing “ole!”, my last Sunday with the University Choir, my last meal in Dunster dining hall, tug-of-war at the Senior Olympics, Class Day, walking across the stage at graduation—these memories sit in my mind as distinct moments that brought me great joy. They are pictures that I want to hold onto in my mind forever.

But now, I am chasing a different type of beauty in life. I am living less for that snapshot and more for the story, or process, behind that snapshot. I am entering the classroom with strong convictions regarding the importance of public education. Education, I firmly believe, is the foundation upon which the ideal of equality of opportunity and the practice of true democracy must be built in order for them to be sustainable. As a teacher, I hope to find beauty in the process of working with students. I hope to enjoy witnessing the growth of both my students and myself throughout the year. I cannot rely on a snapshot or some quick fix to find such beauty, or hope, in life. It will take a lot of hard work, and hopefully I will be able to look at where we start tomorrow and see positive growth throughout the year.

I don’t really have a theme for this blog. Sometimes, I may provide an opinion or two about something going on in the world that is important to me. At other times, I might use it in order try to cope with self-doubt, fears, or anxiety about something going on in my life. Still, some days I will be cheerful and describe some victory won, some obstacle overcome, or even some simple occurrence that I happened to find charming. More than anything, I want to write about my new life: what pleases me, what confuses me, what scares me, and what challenges me.

I live in Atlanta, Georgia. I work in the Program for Exceptional Children (Special Education) department at a high school, and I co-teach Math 1 and Math 2. I am extremely excited about this year and am looking forward to this opportunity to work with my students, fellow faculty and staff, and communities. Tomorrow is the day.